


Monster's Stuck In Your Head

by Fliptail27



Category: The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alec Sells His Soul To Pay a Blood Debt, Alternate Universe - Gangsters, Branding, Dark, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Physical Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-07
Updated: 2018-06-24
Packaged: 2019-03-28 04:55:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13896714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fliptail27/pseuds/Fliptail27
Summary: Alec sat quietly as far away from Sebastian as the limo would allow. He tried to mark their route through the city, but the dizzying blur of New York streets proved to be too disorienting. He did his best not to fidget and betray his nerves. Sebastian would happily prey on any kind of weakness, so he needed to be strong.“You’re awfully quiet Lightwood.” Alec snapped his vivid blue eyes to meet soulless black pits.Alec squared his jaw and replied in a tight voice, “I have nothing to say to you.”Sebastian grinned, flashing extremely sharp canines, his eyes adopting a hungry shine. “I will enjoy breaking that feisty will of yours.”Alec pointedly looked away, willing his terror to magically go away. He heard Sebastian give a low chuckle that could easily be mistaken for a growl. Alec took deep steadying breaths, reminding himself that he was here to protect his family. He allowed his eyes to close, conjuring images of his siblings to lend him their strength. He felt the limo come to a gentle halt.“Eyes open Lightwood. The fun is about to begin.”





	1. Blood Debt

**Author's Note:**

> *Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the Mortal Instruments*

Winters in New York City were brutal. The temperature would continue to plummet leaving a frozen bite. However, New York is the city that never sleeps a little cold weather certainly wasn’t going to disrupt anyone’s daily life. This included Jace Wayland’s. He refused to allow the weather to dictate whether he went on his daily run or not. So even though the cold air burned his lungs and he lost complete feeling to most of his extremities he ran on. The quiet that accompanied the chill air was pierced by a terrified scream. Jace, being the hero shadowhunter that he was, immediately ran toward the commotion. What he saw was three gang goonies attacking some poor woman. They had her thrown onto the cold frozen earth, clothing torn haphazardly as the argued who would be the first to have her. Jace’s vision went red with rage. He whipped out his seraph blade and embedded it deep into the back to the first rapist. He savagely twisted then ripped the weapon free. Quickly side stepping a lumbering attack from the second thug, he thrust the tip of the seraph into the poor man’s gut ripping it free. The third gangster watched his pal get disemboweled then turned tail and ran for his life. Jace considered hunting him down like the pig he was, but decided the traumatized woman had priority. She had completely shut down from the shock, so Jace called 911 then booked it out of there. 

* * *

 

A few days later, a letter arrived at dilapidated church the Lightwood family and Jace Wayland called home. The letter addressed to him told him to meet in neutral territory to discuss his payment of the blood debt he owed, signed by Sebastian Verlac. Jace’s face paled as he read and reread the note. A blood debt was a big deal in this world. That meant the two idiot’s he had killed were part of Sebastian’s gang and now he similarly owed his life to Verlac for killing them. There was no way to get out of a blood debt and there was no way the Clave would rescue him from it. He was going to die. 

Jace ran through the halls and burst into Alec’s room in a complete frenzied panic. “Alec I think I messed up. Big time.”

Alec rolled his eyes as he looked up from his book. What else was new? However his joking atmosphere completely disintegrated as he looked at the pure terror etched onto Jace’s face. “What happened?”

Jace quickly explained the blood debt he now owed Sebastian. “Alec I don’t know what to do. He’s going to kill me and he has every right to. I don’t know, I was just so angry that I didn’t even notice they were part of Verlac’s crew.” 

“Calm down. We’re going to figure this out. I’ll come with you to the meeting to see if we can work out some kind of deal.” Alec tried his best to sound confident. Sebastian Verlac had a reputation for running the most brutal bloodthirsty gang. The shadowhunter Clave had made a deal with the gang that they wouldn’t interfere with each other’s business to protect each of their own interests. An all out war with the gang would mean lots of civilian casualties that the Clave was not willing to sacrifice. Therefore the blood debt would have to be paid somehow, since it was Sebastian that was the head of it, Alec sincerely doubted they would be let off easy. Still Jace was freaking out enough as it was, he didn’t need Alec to break down too. He would protect his parabatai whatever the cost. 

The pair headed out to the abandoned warehouse designated in the letter. Completely devoid of weapons they felt wholly unprepared for the meeting, however weapons would mean certain death for the both of them. This was a business meeting, which meant the war had to be waged with words not blades. Before walking into the warehouse, Alec stopped Jace. “Let me do the talking.” Jace nodded, figuring Alec would probably be much better at negotiating than he would. 

When they walked into the warehouse they found Sebastian and two of his cronies already waiting for them. Each of the underlings patted them down for weapons declaring them to be “All clear.” 

Sebastian Verlac was smartly dressed in a pinstripe brown suit with a matching fedora resting on top of his platinum blonde hair. His eyes seemed so dark that they swallowed the light around them. “Well Wayland, I see you brought a friend to witness your demise to pay for the blood debt.” Sebastian chuckled, the laugh lacking any real mirth. 

“Actually I’m here to negotiate his blood debt.” Alec said, taking a small step forward to put himself more in focus. 

“And you are?” Sebastian asked frowning, he wasn’t a big fan of people interrupting his meetings. 

“Alexander Lightwood.” 

Sebastian gave an evil grin upon hearing that name. This could become interesting indeed. “Well Lightwood, I could be inclined towards mercy...for a price.”

Alec took a deep steadying breath, this was at least some kind of progress. “Name it.”

“You.” Sebastian replied simply, his dark eyes boring into Alec. “I will allow you to work off his blood debt, and allow him to live.”

“Done.” Alec didn’t even take a moment to hesitate, if it meant saving Jace’s life then he was fine with whatever Verlac had in mind. He would work off the debt then be able to resume his normal Shadowhunter routine. 

“Wait Alec, don’t be an idiot. This is my fault I should be the one who works it off.” Jace finally spoke, grabbing Alec’s shoulder. 

“Well,” Sebastian interrupted. “Unfortunately, I don’t want you. This offer only remains if Lightwood is the one to work off the debt.”

Jace grit his teeth, but Alec put a comforting hand on his back. “It’s fine Jace. I’ll work it off and be back in no time.”

“Well it appears we have a deal.” Sebastian snapped his finger’s and produced a crimson flame that burned a contract into existence. “Your hand please.” Alec surrendered his hand to Sebastian’s waiting grasp as Sebastian pricked his finger and allowed a droplet to fall on the proper line. “I’ll give you an hour to explain to your family, then my limo will pick you up. Pleasure doing business with you both.” Sebastian laughed darkly then began to walk out of the warehouse, looking forward to playing with his newly acquired toy. 

Alec and Jace went back to the Institute in silence, both processing the events of the day. Jace finally broke the silence, finding it suffocating. “Alec are you sure about this?”

Alec shrugged. “It’s already done, so there’s no going back now. Besides no one has to die this way.” Alec explained the situation to each of his family members leaving out details when needed. They didn’t really need to know this was all to pay off Jace’s blood debt with the Verlac gang. Instead opting to tell them that he needed to work off a disagreement to keep the gang friendly with the Clave. All too soon his hour was over, and he made his way to the waiting limo and the waiting Sebastian Verlac. 


	2. Eyes Open

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm not going to promise to be great at updating this, but I am going to try. Please let me know all thoughts and feelings in the comments :)

Alec sat quietly as far away from Sebastian as the limo would allow. He tried to mark their route through the city, but the dizzying blur of New York streets proved to be too disorienting. He did his best not to fidget and betray his nerves. Sebastian would happily prey on any kind of weakness, so he needed to be strong.

“You’re awfully quiet Lightwood.” Alec snapped his vivid blue eyes to meet soulless black pits.

Alec squared his jaw and replied in a tight voice, “I have nothing to say to you.”

Sebastian grinned, flashing extremely sharp canines, his eyes adopting a hungry shine. “I will enjoy breaking that feisty will of yours.”

Alec pointedly looked away, willing his terror to magically go away. He heard Sebastian give a low chuckle that could easily be mistaken for a growl. Alec took deep steadying breaths, reminding himself that he was here to protect his family. He allowed his eyes to close, conjuring images of his siblings to lend him their strength. He felt the limo come to a gentle halt.

“Eyes open Lightwood. The fun is about to begin.”

* * *

 

The trek through Verlac manor was surprisingly dull. Alec had expected a torture chamber or two, the furniture and carpets decorated with the blood of Sebastian’s enemies and demons to be littering the place. Instead he found a lovely victorian style house, impeccably decorated with the finest life had to offer, not a single other person in sight. He supposed Verlac didn’t need demonic guards in his own home.

Sebastian led Alec to a spacious bedroom. A large four poster bed, a lovely ash wardrobe and accompanying desk served as the room’s only furnishings. A fireplace crackled on the opposite wall to fend off the chill touch of winter. Sebastian closed the door slowly, his devilish smirk growing wider. He walked closer to Alec who was awkwardly standing in the middle of the room. Alec felt very much like prey cornered by a hungry predator.

“Now my pet, let’s see how obedient you can be. After all if you won’t behave I’ll have to see if Wayland would be more cooperative.” Alec bristled at the thought of harm coming to his parabatai, but he nodded to confirm he understood his position clearly. “Remove your shirt and hand over your stele.” Alec complied, Sebastian’s black eyes roamed his toned chest shamelessly. “Don’t move.” Sebastian commanded before walking behind Alec, out of his field of vision. He heard the shriek of metal grating against metal. The only other sounds in the room being the crackle of the fire and his own shallow breaths. Sebastian reappeared in front of Alec, deathly quiet, holding a long piece of metal. Alec could have sworn that Sebastian’s footsteps belonged to that of a ghost. Upon closer inspection, Alec realized he was holding a brand with the initials **_SV_** glowing orange with heat. Alec flashed his eyes back to Verlacs, wide with fear. Sebastian flashed an evil grin as he slowly inched the brand closer to Alec’s chest, right above his thundering heart. He stilled it within an inch of Alec’s skin to allow him to feel the heat roll off it, increasing his own panic. Alec remained still though, not even allowing himself to retreat from the threat of the brand. With sadistic glee he pressed the brand home, enjoying the sickening hiss of burning flesh. Alec clenched his jaw, breathing deeply to suppress his screams. He didn’t want to give Sebastian the satisfaction of hearing it. Sebastian’s hungry eyes drank in every ounce of excruciating agony in Alec’s expression.

“Beautiful Lightwood. Those icy blue eyes overflowing with pain. Simply exquisite. We’re going to have a lot of fun together.”

* * *

 

Magnus Bane strode into the Verlac mansion looking very imposing. Decked out in a harsh crimson and midnight black suit he cut a striking figure indeed. Two guards trailed him through the lavish house, mostly for show Sebastian figured. If his reputation held any merit, he certainly didn’t need their protection.

Once they all arrived in the sitting room, Magnus elegantly folded himself into a chair, crossing his long legs delicately. “Well Verlac, what is all this nonsense about?”

“I want pier 8.” Sebastian replied calmly, cutting straight to the chase.

Magnus’ guards looked shocked, everyone knew pier 8 was Bane territory. Magnus, however, remained completely impassive almost bored looking. “And why should I let you have my pier?”

“I have something to barter. Well I suppose something isn’t quite the right wording.” Sebastian flashed sharp canines as his face contorted into an evil grin.

Magnus fiddled with his black diamond earing, thoroughly unimpressed. “Is that so?”

“Alexander Lightwood.” Magnus’ yellow cat eyes replaced his amber hue, betraying the surge of emotion regarding that name. Sebastian knew he had won.

Magnus calmed his emotions and took a moment to order his thoughts. Magnus cleared his throat and continued in a deathly calm tone, “I need to guarantee his condition.” Rumor had it that Sebastian liked to break his toys.

Verlac nodded to his own guard by the door, “Bring him.” The guard returned a moment later with the shadowhunter in tow. Alec did his best to walk with his chin up, a slight limp to his step that he vainly tried to hide.

Alec didn’t even notice Magnus at first, being too busy glaring daggers at Sebastian. When Alec did finally notice the warlock’s presence, his eyebrows shot up in shock. “Magnus? What are you…” Alec was abruptly silenced with a sharp glance from Sebastian.

Sebastian returned his attention to Magnus. “Do we have a deal Bane?”

Magnus did his best to reign in his temper. He wanted nothing more than to splatter Sebastian all over his stupid fancy walls, however that would mean an all out gang war. While he could handle the Verlac gang, he didn’t want to gain the attention of the Shadowhunter Clave. “Very well Verlac, we have a deal. Draw up the contract.”

Unsurprisingly, Sebastian already had the contract ready for the signature. Magnus took the time to examine every inch of the contract to make sure there were no hidden strings. Finding everything in order, Magnus snapped his fingers a blue fire igniting in their wake drawing a pinprick of blood. He smeared the blood on its assigned line, the small wound vanishing as fast as he had inflicted it. Sebastian’s guards moved to prick Alec’s finger, but backed down from the devastating cat eyed glare Magnus threw at them.

Magnus walked slowly over to Alec, stopping right in front of him. His voice was gentle and compassionate, devoid of the hard edge it had adopted mere moments ago. “Alec may I have your hand?”

Alec shifted from foot to foot a moment, then nodded. He placed his hand palm up in Magnus’ warm grasp. “This won’t hurt.” Magnus murmured so low only Alec could hear. Magnus snapped his fingers once more, rekindling the blue flame. He pressed it softly to Alec’s fingertip, a warm sensation traveled down the appendage. A pinprick of blood was similarly left it place of the cerulean flame. Magnus gently guided his hand to the proper place on the foreign contract, the wound closing up as soon as it was no longer needed. “I believe our business is concluded, Verlac.” Magnus said curtly, proceeding immediately for the exit, Alec in tow. Sebastian had the good sense to remain silent, content to watch them leave with laughter in his black eyes and black heart.

* * *

 

As soon as Magnus, Alec and the two guards reached the street, Magnus made a portal to his loft. Alec blinked then found himself in an unfamiliar bedroom alone with Magnus. His vision started to turn fuzzy around the edges as he the adrenaline from being in Sebastian’s presence wore off. His body turned heavy and he nearly collapsed on top of Magnus. With a soft grunt, Magnus caught him and shifted Alec onto the bed. “It’s alright now, I’ve got you.” Magnus whispered softly. Alec slumped against one of the posts on Magnus’ bed, fighting to remain conscious. “Once we get you mended, we’ll return you home. You don’t need to feel obligated to stay with me.” Magnus continued to speak softly, unsure if Alec was even listening at that point.

Alec took a shallow breath, “I don’t have a home. I...I...got kicked out.” The effort to eek out such a small sentence took its toll and Alec swooned.

“Alexander I’m going to heal you, but first I need to see the damage. I’m going to remove your shirt okay?” Magnus spoke clearly, seeing that Alec was having a hard time focusing. Alec was on the verge of blacking out, he vaguely heard Magnus from far away. So far away. He registered that Magnus was going to take off his shirt and knew that he should protest. He wanted to tell Magnus not to look but the words wouldn’t form. The last thing he felt was a strong surge of shame before he completely blacked out.

Magnus took off the shirt seeing a battlefield. There were neat rows of burns and cuts on Alec’s toned abs, deliberately and meticulously placed. Small to large hickey’s and bites swirling around Alec’s runes. Bruises that looked unsettlingly like fingerprints decorated his pale skin. An ugly patch of black, yellow and purple covering the span of a few ribs, some most likely broken as well. And of course the large **_SV_ ** branded above his heart. Some of the wounds had already scarred, which meant no amount of magic would ever be able to heal them. Alec would have to bear them as a reminder of dark days for the rest of his life. Magnus had to concentrate completely on healing Alec so he didn’t return to the Verlac manor to disassemble it brick by brick with Verlac still inside, then send it hurling into the demon realm.

Once Alec was healed, Magnus repositioned him on the bed and tucked him in under the covers. “Alexander, how did you ever get yourself involved with Verlac?” Magnus whispered to the sleeping boy, lamentation filling his voice. Sighing heavily, Magnus retreated to his private study to allow Alec to rest. He decided doing a bit of work might take his mind off things. Besides after seeing Sebastian’s handiwork he wasn’t sure he would ever be able to sleep again.


	3. Delirium

Alec jumped awake expecting to feel a cold hardwood floor below him and ash furniture surrounding him instead. Instead he felt the comfort of a feathery bed with a silver and purple canopy. He remembered Magnus coming to the Verlac manor, but that didn’t exactly explain where he was. Thoroughly confused, he sat up to take a good look at his surroundings. The spacious room was decorated in plush chairs and lavish decorations with matching chestnut furnishings. There were three doors leading from the room. The first led to a giant closet with a large range of clothes, anything from immaculate suits to glitter t-shirts. The second led to a private bathroom where every inch of counter space was overloaded with a variety of cosmetics. Well those doors definitely proved this to be Magnus’ bedroom, but shouldn’t he be in it too? The third door led to a hallway, so Alec padded out on bare feet to find Magnus. At first he was pretty worried that he wouldn’t be able to locate the warlock. The Bane Mansion was rumored to be just as large and elaborate as the Verlac’s. However upon poking around Alec discovered that he was actually in a relatively simple flat. Two doors later and he found Magnus writing furiously behind a large desk. “Uh I guess I should have knocked?” Alec said quietly, afraid of startling the warlock. 

Magnus looked up, an expression of relief flooding his features. “Alec you’re awake. How are you feeling?” Magnus gestured to a plush chair in front of his desk.

Alec padded over, but sat stiffly on the edge of the chair. He replied, “I feel okay. A little overwhelmed if I’m being honest.”

“Well that’s to be expected you slept nearly 24 hours.”

Alec was a little taken back, he had no idea he was out that long. “Uh well I guess thank you?” Alec’s blue eyes swept over Magnus, not missing the tired set of his shoulders and the dark smudges beneath his glittering make-up. “Did you get any sleep?”

Magnus fiddled with one of his earrings. “I had a lot of work to do anyway. I wanted to make sure I was awake when you finally came to.” Magnus took a deep breath then hesitantly asked, “You said you didn’t have a home anymore, is that true?”

Alec looked away, taking a sudden interest in the corner of Magnus’ desk. He nodded, “Dad kicked me out. I was already on thin ice for saying I was gay, then when I tried to explain the Verlac situation Dad assumed it was because I was shacking up.” Alec’s face contorted into pure disgust. “He wouldn’t even let me finish explaining, he just told me not to come back.”

“If you don’t mind me asking how did you get mixed in with Verlac?”

Alec shrugged, his eyes adopting a far away gaze. “Jace owed a blood debt. Verlac said I could work it off for him. It was the only way to keep Jace alive. Sebastian, he...he…”

Magnus held up a hand. “You don’t have to tell me anything. Heal first. I did wonder why you said yes to a date, then disappeared for four months.”

Alec’s eyes widened. “I completely forgot we were supposed to go on a date. I’m so sorry!” 

“Alexander you had much more pressing concerns. I’m not even worried about it.” Magnus offered a sweet smile. He had been pretty upset about it three months ago, but now everything fell into place. Alec was in for a rough recovery, even if he did seem fine now. Magnus knew the rumors and he had seen some of the damage, four months with that monster had to have been a special kind of hell. 

Alec curled in on himself, hunching his shoulders. “Well I’m not entirely certain what happened between you and Sebastian but didn’t you sort of buy me?”

“I did barter for your blood debt.” Magnus began carefully. “But it's not like I expect anything in return. Your safety is payment enough.”

“So uh...what now?” Alec asked hesitantly completely unsure of where to go from there. 

“Well if you’d like you’re more than welcome to live here with me. And if and when you feel up to it, we can find you a job and get your life back to a sense of normalcy.” Magnus smiled, trying his best to exude a calming aura. 

Alec chewed on the corner of his lip thinking it over. It really wasn’t like he had any better options and he knew Magnus was a good person, despite being a gang leader. “Where would I sleep?”

“I’ll make you up a bedroom. I think you are really going to want your own space.” 

Alec nodded. “Okay. I’ll stay here for a little while.”

Magnus nodded and snapped a blue fire to life on his fingertips. Alec felt the building shake a bit, then it died down along with the blue magical flames. “There. I have made you a new bedroom right across the hall from my own. Are you hungry at all? I can get us some food.”

Alec shook his head. “I’m really not at all hungry.” Alec seemed so tense, curling in on himself and hunching his shoulders. 

“Alright. I’m going to get some sleep. Why don’t you rest a while too? If you need anything don’t hesitate to come get me.” Magnus stood and walked out of the room. After a moment Alec stood and wondered to his new room. 

It was just as large as Magnus’s decorated with an ocean theme. Soft blues and driftwood furniture accented the room with a lovely mural of the sea above his bed. He had a writing desk, a closet complete with all manner of clothes and his very own bathroom. He made his way to the bathroom pausing at the mirror. His skin looked pale, his eyes sunken and their color dull and lifeless. He unbuttoned the pajama top and sucked in a breath, his stomach turning queasy. He shut his eyes trying to block out the image of his marred flesh forever branded. Forever reminding him that he belongs to Sebastian. 

“Eyes open Lightwood.” He could hear Sebastian say. Taunting him, daring him to defy him so he could concoct a new way to torture him. Alec’s stomach heaved and he turned and threw up bile into the toilet feeling completely miserable. He continued to heave until there was absolutely nothing left in his stomach. Alec continued to hear and see Sebastian there. He could feel his dark presence there, mocking him like always. 

_ Alec squeezed his eyes shut as if he could block out and imagine someone else was forcing their cock down his throat. Sebastian gripped his hair and tugged his head back sharply, the pain radiating down Alec’s scalp. “Eyes open Lightwood. Know who owns you.” Sebastian smiled sadistically as he forced his cock back into Alec’s mouth. Alec tried his best not to gag as he was manhandled around. Tears streamed out the corners of his eyes, but he kept them open. He glared hatefully at Sebastian as he was used, his eyes meeting Sebastian’s filled with sadistic pleasure. Power. Sebastian had the power over his whole life now for who knows how long. Sebastian stilled with a low groan, a salty liquid filling Alec’s mouth. “Swallow.” Sebastian commanded. Alec complied. He would always do exactly what Sebastian said, for the sake of his family. “Did you enjoy that? There’s more fund to be had Lightwood, much more.” Sebastian laughed cruelly and left Alec to his own shame and revulsion.  _

Alec came out of the trappings of his past, gasping for breath and shivering. He was still kneeling in front of his toilet and stood on shaky legs to go lay back down. Nothing felt right, he felt cold, achy and sick. He considered going to get Magnus but he didn’t want to bother him. He could tough it out, he’d certainly dealt with far worse. Instead he climbed into bed as shivers wracked his frail body. He covered up and squeezed his eyes shut. It was for his family. They were safe now. He was safe now. Sebastian didn’t own him anymore, and he had nothing to fear. Alec fell into another fitful sleep as images from those dark four months continued to assault him.   
  


Magnus was having a hard time staying asleep. A nagging worry for Alec kept bugging him. Everytime he would close his eyes he could see the damage done to Alec’s frame, see the pure hate that glazed over Alec’s eyes in the Verlac manor. Deciding that he wasn’t going to get any sleep until he checked in on Alec, he got up and walked to Alec’s room. Just a quick peek he told himself and then he would return to bed and let the poor boy rest. He opened Alec’s door and saw Alec toss and turn on his bed in a fitful sleep. Magnus was unsure whether he should awaken him or let him resolve his own nightmares when he saw how deathly pale Alec looked. His cheeks were dusted a light pink and he had a light sheen of sweat layering his skin. Magnus put his cool hand on Alec’s forehead, he felt very warm. Magnus went over to the adjoining bathroom and dipped a washcloth in cool water returning to gently drape it over Alec’s forehead. He then produced a glass of water and fever reducer. Out of all things his magic couldn’t heal and Alec hadn’t even told him he was feeling sick! 

Magnus sighed and gently shook Alec awake. “C’mon you need to take this to help with your fever.” Alec didn’t even question, just taking the pills being held out and gulping down the water. “Next time you need to tell me if you’re feeling bad, okay?”

“Sorry. M sorry.” Alec mumbled. 

He was still too out of it to be making any sense, so Magnus smoothed his damp black hair away from his forehead and spoke in a soothing voice. “It’s alright Alexander. You’ll be safe now.” Magnus stayed like that for most of the night, trying to sooth Alec in any way he could when he began to panic in his fever delirium. 


End file.
